Never Have I Ever
by JettaBot
Summary: Jeff and Britta are coerced into camping and figure drinking games will alleviate the boredom.


Jeff neatly lays out an assortment of skincare products as Britta brushes her hair up into a ponytail.

When he gets out a litre of hair gel she starts having second thoughts.

"Did you pack your entire bathroom? I'm not sure there's room for the both of us in this tent."

"I choose Kerastina, every time"

She throws her still-unrolled sleeping bag at him.

"How did the study group even convince us to do this?"

"I have no idea. Annie was pretty insistent; maybe she drugged our drinks and dragged us here. But don't worry, I've brought something to stave off the ennui," Jeff says, bringing a bottle from his bag.

"Um," says Britta, taking out an identical bottle of five dollar champagne.

"…So we're both alcoholics."

"Apparently," says Britta, unscrewing the top and chugging as Jeff does the same.

"So," says Britta, "Never Have I Ever?"

"I'm already camping. Let's not relive my entire high-school life."

Britta ignores him and starts playing.

After a few drinks she's a little tipsy.

"Never have I ever….slept with Annie."

Jeff starts choking on his wine.

"That's what you get for drinking at the wrong time," she says.

"Neither have I!" he says indignantly, once he's regained the power of speech.

"Ok, just asking," trying a little too hard to act as if it wouldn't bother her either way.

Having drunk a little too much, he adds, "I haven't even dated anybody these past few months."

He immediately regrets saying so, and tries to irritate Britta into changing the subject.

"Are you _sure _you and Annie never hooked up?"

She rolls her eyes at that but is otherwise undiverted.

"Why not? Selena seemed nice and not _too_ far out of your league. Or I'm sure you could have found _someone_ else willing."

He tries and fails to think of a believable excuse that doesn't involve the truth.

"Because…I don't know where I stand. I'd start dating someone, only to get drunken 3am calls from you asking me to come over…It's confusing, Britta."

"Your lack of a love life is _my_ fault?"

"That's not what I meant—"

"I'm sorry that drunken 3 am calls are apparently so irresistible that they ruin your relationships, but this isn't my fault. But don't worry. I won't bother you anymore," she says, getting up to leave the tent.

"Where are you going?"

"For a walk."

"It's 1 am and we're in the middle of freezing, dark woods. Just come back inside, Britta."

He follows her out of the tent, but the darkness covers her within a few steps.

_Trust her to be melodramatic and impulsive, _he thinks_._

He sighs, and decides on the only course of action that doesn't end in her getting lost in the woods.

"I didn't mean that it's your fault," he yells out into the darkness, feeling foolish and hoping she's close enough to hear.

"I'm just saying, it's hard to date other people…" He sighs, decides that emotional openness might just be worthwhile if it stops Britta dying in the woods (his therapist would have a field day with that) and adds "…because I like you".

There is a pause then a voice softly says, "Really?"

It does not sound far away, like it is coming from the middle of the woods. It sounds close by, like _someone_ got lazy in the middle of their angry walkout. He rolls his eyes. A romantic spiel for nothing.

"Not so much when you're being a complete idiot and trying to get lost in the woods," he says.

As Jeff's eyes get accustomed to the darkness, he can see Britta walking towards him. Her eyes are wide and her hair looks almost luminescent in the moonlight. He hates himself for noticing that.

"I wasn't actually going exploring. I was just going to go sit near the campfire and see if people dropped any marshmallows... Did you mean what you said, or were you just trying to get me to come back?"

Jeff pauses. This is his get-out-of-jail-free card. Though freedom would mainly involve more not-dating and avoiding Britta's gaze whenever she smiles at him because it makes him want to kiss her. Not the greatest deal.

"Yes…?" he says hesitantly.

She smiles. _Good sign. _Then stands on her tiptoes, pulling Jeff's face towards her and pressing her lips softly against his. _Even better. _She leads him inside the tent, kissing him against the canvas, knocking over a few bottles of hair product in the process. Jeff will bring himself to care about that in the morning.

"Never have I ever had sex in a tent?" Jeff says hopefully.

Britta rolls her eyes but smiles.

"I have. I'd be happy to show you the ropes."


End file.
